Does
Your Company Need Family Therapy?
How Companies Are Like Families
Like
a family, a company is a group of people who have an ongoing relationship with
one another. Companies have several things in common with families:
1. Families
have distinct ways of communicating and degrees of togetherness. For example:
• Communication may be overt or covert.
• Relationships tend to be enmeshed (too close;
overly involved) or disengaged (not at all close; uninvolved).
• Boundaries may be described as diffuse (extreme
togetherness), rigid (extreme separateness), or clear (ideal and appropriate).
2. There
are unwritten rules which family members or employees must follow in order to
survive and thrive in the system. For example, in an organization, the rules
might be:
• Never call the boss by her first name.
• Always be at your desk by 8:00 a.m.
• Never eat lunch with a person of lower status.
• Don’t place any personal items on your desk or
credenza.
3. Unresolved
issues from the past have an effect on current functioning and communication
patterns.
For
example: After an emotional event such as a major strike, employees need time
to process their feelings. Family therapy following a disruptive event like
this would heal such wounds much more quickly.
Four Dynamics That We Bring to Work from
Home
We
learn to relate to people first in our families of origin. We learn to trust,
communicate, listen, cooperate, and share before we reach our tenth birthday.
When we join a company, we bring those abilities with us. And every work team
in every company becomes a place where family dynamics play themselves out, for
better or worse.
Every
member of every work team brings the following kinds of dynamics from home:
1. A
preference for independence and autonomy vs. dependence and control
For
example: Some people are most comfortable in a closely supervised work
situation and prefer to have everything clearly spelled out. Others find such
an atmosphere suffocating and seek an environment where they are left to their
own devices.
2. The
ability to recognize and respond to appropriate vs. inappropriate boundaries
For
example: Some companies expect employees to demonstrate extreme loyalty and
openness to those within the company. This atmosphere may feel comfortable to
someone from a family with similar boundaries, but inappropriate to another
person.
3. The
ability to communicate with others effectively. This includes:
• Stating opinions and expectations overtly vs.
covertly
• Demonstrating listening skills
• Asking for clarification when needed
• Speaking assertively
• Showing respect for others
Using
effective communication skills requires strong self-esteem. This may be impossible
for a person from a family where such communication was never modeled. A person
who learned covert, aggressive, disrespectful communication patterns would not
be successful in a work group where the preceding, effective behavior is
expected.
4. Demonstrating
the ability to trust others
When
employees do not trust one another, team functioning is threatened. Empowerment
and motivation are maximized when people trust each other.
Signs of Dysfunction
How
can you tell if a work group (or a family) is not healthy? Here are some signs
of dysfunction:
1. Attendance: Excessive absenteeism and
high turnover correlate to family members responding to dysfunction by becoming
emotionally distant and running away.
2. Sabotage: When employees feel unable to
express their feelings and opinions, they sometimes resort to acting them out
by violating rules, sabotaging the company, or by displaying other
passive-aggressive behaviors.
For
example: In a large company, an employee recently shared a confidential,
sensitive memo with a friend who worked for a competitor. The memo became
front-page headlines.
3. Substance abuse: Employees feeling
excessive stress at work may respond as they would in a family, by abusing
substances at work or after hours.
4. Overachieving: Companies with very high
expectations may create employees who routinely produce miracles. This may look
admirable to an outsider, but it can produce burnout among the employees. This
dynamic resembles the family that looks perfect from the outside, but is in
fact severely dysfunctional.
5. Underachieving: Employees who feel
unappreciated or abused may respond by producing substandard results at work,
just as such family members do at home.
For
example: Most stores today have sales associates who act as if the customer is
an interruption. These employees appear to have no interest in the success of
the company.
6. Emotional or physical abuse: In some
organizations, employees are routinely subjected to emotional or even physical
abuse. These are obviously examples of severe dysfunction, just as they are
when they occur in a family.
For
example: There have recently been several reports of physical and emotional
abuse in the military.
7. Double bind: Some work teams have an
atmosphere in which employees feel “damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”
Strategies for Resolving Problems
Following
an assessment, the following family therapy interventions may help the
employees of a dysfunctional company relate with one another in a healthier and
more productive way.
1. Teach
employees the following communication and problem-solving skills:
• How to define problems in a non-blaming way
• How to listen with empathy
• How to make requests assertively
• How to brainstorm solutions
2. Help
employees identify themes and company (family) myths. Explore those that may be
discussed and challenged, as well as those that may not.
3. Triangulation
is the process where two people side against a third. Teach employees to manage
conflict by teaching them how to avoid triangulation.
4. Where
a work team shows signs of being disengaged, help employees build stronger
relationships and communication patterns. Use team-building techniques to
accomplish this.
5. Where
the system is enmeshed, help the employees strengthen boundaries and increase
autonomy. Team-building exercises can be helpful here, too.
6. Teach
supervisors how to manage employees more effectively through regular
supervisory skills training. Just as parents benefit from parenting skills
training, supervisors need similar instruction. Supervisory training should
address the following skills:
• How to demonstrate effective listening skills
• How to encourage open communication among team
members
• How to empower team members by setting
effective goals
• How to encourage creativity and initiative
• How to resolve conflict in a healthy and
productive manner
The
goal of such interventions is to energize employees by teaching them new ways
to relate to one another.
Suggested Reading
Bob
Nelson, 1001 Ways To Energize Employees.
New York, NY:Workman Publishing, 1997.
Fred Piercy, Douglas Sprenkle &Associates, Family Therapy Sourcebook. New York,
NY:The Guilford Press, 1986.
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